some days are just gray

acid was jeans : h&m

gray tee : h&m

ray band sunnies

lunch bag : zara

booties : ivanka trump

leather jacket : victoria sectrets

90’s tattoo necklace : the cobra snake . com

today was a gray day. i lost a friend today. steve. which was my fathers name. i told him that, my friend you see. i forewarned him. he was my boyfriend at the time and my best friend. he was the type of person who couldn’t stand to see you unhappy. one day i came home after a shit day. i mean a really shit day. i couldn’t get in a good mood no matter what. he couldn’t crack a smile in me with a sledgehammer. finally he said enough, drug me to his charger, (not before he put on tight jean, a band tee and a vest with a fedora oh and aviators), secured me in my seat and insisted on making me have a better day. we lived in gainesville , florida where there is nothing around for miles i mean nothing besides cheap beer and pizza. we drove to paynes prairie where you walk down the an actual prairie (mind you we grew up next to an ocean and had no idea what a prairie was or looked like). it was sunset at this time and the prairie was painted a green gold. we walked all the breathtaking way to the end where there was a rickety wooden lookout tower and carved our names like many others before us. we felt like we accomplished something that day. we were still just kids with cigarettes and j.d.. its hard because i left that life so long ago. for the better of both worlds. i remember how sad he was at tag’s funeral. tags was our high school friend whom i had spent my early college years with. tags was a like like steve. biggest heart. steve clung to me at tag’s funeral like i would lift off with him. how i am supposed to go to his? i thought i had funerals down like sunday dinner, but you’re never ready.






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